Why are there commercials for cotton? Do they actually think when I’m spending money on clothes that I think to myself “Yes, these two shirts are very similar. However, this one is made of a synthetic fiber, while this one is made of cotton. Clearly the answer here is the cotton garment!!”

Maybe there’s a whole story I’m not aware of. Maybe the cotton farmers of America are suffering. But it reminds me of the pork commercials. The other white meat. Uh huh. I’m aware of the existance of pork, thank you. Your commercial isn’t going to make me like pork. Pork chops = gross. Bacon, however, is the perfect food accessory. See? My mind is already made up.

Don’t worry, cotton. I won’t be switching to silk any time soon. Or will I…..

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