1. Break it in half with your hands (very easy to do) and use the glass viewing screen’s broken edge as a razorblade to slice the jugular when they are looking the other way.

2. Take off one sock (a dress or tube sock; pantyhose will work in a pinch), place the Nano in the sock, swing it around as fast as you can (being careful to not hit yourself), and whack the intended target right on the temple.

3. Take the reflective shiny part and catch the sun’s ray and shine it in a vehicle driver’s eyes, or if you are at a rock concert and the lead singer is prancing around on a center stage that protrudes into the audience like a phallus, you can use the same technique.

For five more suggestions, visit the article in McSweeney’s that I stole these from!