Why Skyrim is better than Portal 2

LOOK AT THAT BADASS

Writer and gamer compatriot Kiala Kazebee recently wrote a post for the Nerdist blog, in which she lists the reasons why Portal 2 is superior to Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. With more than 70 hours of Skyrimming (that’s a thing, right?) under my belt, I present to you, dear reader, my rebuttal. FIGHT!

1. Yeah, I loved Portal 2. The first time I played it. When it was called PORTAL.

2. Oh, you like your little puzzles, do you? I like slaying dragons using massive fireballs and wielding blades imbued with ice and FEAR. Also, you think running around variations on the same room over and over is exciting, Kiala?? I think your brain was in stasis too long.

I am about to stab you in the head

3. If you’re bored walking through the (scenic and gloriously rendered) mountains, let me introduce you to a friend of mine: Skyrim Murder Bear. He’s been looking forward to meeting you.

4. Not funny? Have you seen the bucket head trick? There is tons of funny dialog and moments in the game, if you take the time to look for them. They’re much more rewarding than having Stephen Merchant lob one-liners into your face every 15 seconds.*

5. I have a husband. His name is Farkas, and he makes me hearty and delicious Homecooked Meals™ whenever I ask. Can your potato do that? Also, he’s manly and wears a hot suit of armor and we live together in the awesome house I purchased by being a total badass.

My wedding with Farkas. He's so sweet.

6. Sure, my Dark Elf may not be the prettiest princess on the block, but she has CHARACTER. I’ve seen Chell, ooooh… maybe twice? Plus, I can change my lady elf’s clothes and weapons at will. Just because I’m a gamer doesn’t mean I don’t like to play dress up once in a while. Enjoy your jumpsuit.

7. Skyrim has shouts. I can move at incredible speed, ground flying dragons, freeze or burn opponents, slow time itself, and more. FUS RO DAH!

8. Sure, the singing turrets in Portal 2 are adorable. But I’d much rather have a choir of hundreds of vikings singing an epic song in the language of the dragons.

9. Oh, I’m also a werewolf archmage assassin (and bard in training). So I’m either about to rip your throat out or sing you a sonnet about Mara, Goddess of Love and Stuff. But you won’t know until it’s too late!

10. The “I took an arrow to the knee” line is the meme of the year.

So these are just some of my reasons why Skyrim is a better game than Portal 2**, and why Kiala is wrong about everything (I’m guessing). Feel free to argue with me or lavish praise upon my argument in the comments.

*I will grant you that Space Sphere is the funniest character in a video game in the past 5 years, but even yelling SPAAAAAACE! can get old after a while.

**I actually loved Portal 2, but writing this post was too fun to pass up.

34 thoughts on “Why Skyrim is better than Portal 2

  1. Similar to Portal one could say I did all the things in Skyrim before in Oblivion, Fallout 3, and New Vegas. Plus after the first 30 hours of Skyrim I felt like I did everything… and then played another 100. Something is wrong with me.

  2. Pingback: Let’s Start a Fight: Portal 2 vs. Skyrim « Nerdist

  3. While I loved Skyrim, it’s hard to say it’s better then Portal 2, which is not only the best game this year, but in my opinion one of the best games ever. There is a good story, there are memorable characters, and most importantly, it isn’t almost completely broken on one of the three platforms it came out on. Gamers were very lucky this year, but Portal 2 stands above the rest.

  4. Pingback: I'm having an Internet Fight ™ with +kiala kazebee about two awesome games!… | scot hacker's foobar blog

  5. You guys are going to get me to play these new video games yet; and I haven’t indulged since Missile Command, Atari Basketball, and Adventure!

    Signed,
    Fossil in the Making

  6. “*I will grant you that Space Sphere is the funniest character in a video game in the past 5 years, but even yelling SPAAAAAACE! can get old after a while.”

    And “arrow to the knee” is the most stupid meme ever.


  7. nXt:

    “*I will grant you that Space Sphere is the funniest character in a video game in the past 5 years, but even yelling SPAAAAAACE! can get old after a while.”
    And “arrow to the knee” is the most stupid meme ever.

    How is it a stupid meme? Any more stupid than any other meme, that is?

  8. These games are so different they are almost impossible to compare but if I had to choose I would say Portal 2 is better. Mainly because when I am not playing Skyrim I feel guilty I am not finishing quests and exploring. With Portal I can play for 20 minutes have a chuckle and be done.

  9. I love Skyrim AND Portal 2. I wouldn’t say which of them is the better one since they are of different genres. Funny why these games are compared against each other in the first place…

    Anyway well written post about Syrim’s better points especially on variety (point 2) which Portal 2 is severely lacking.

  10. This comparison is nonsense, like comparing apples and bananas.
    There is no game like Portal, where there are tons of games similar to Skyrim, some even way better too.
    The only difference is that Skyrim is more hyped than Portal (and hype doesnt make a game better than other games)

    PS: this arrow to the knee is not even funny at all

  11. I think Portal and Portal 2 are fascinating puzzles that quick my 72 year-old mind active. But I’m going to try Skyrim shortly. Love yer stuff, Veronica.

  12. Skyrim is better than Portal 2. Portal is fun, but Skyrim completely immerses you. It is better in every category: graphics, gameplay, music, story, characters, replay-ability, creativity and MORE!!!!
    Portal is basically Sudoku. It makes you feel smart, even though eventually you are guaranteed to figure out the puzzle. That is why people like it. It makes them feel smart.
    Skyrim is like playing a character in a brilliant novel.


  13. palavering:


    palavering:

    Correction!!! I think Portal and Portal 2 are fascinating puzzles that keep my 72 year-old mind active. But I’m going to try Skyrim shortly. Love yer stuff, Veronica.

    You, sir, are the best. Do you need to adopt any grown up grandkids? I’d like to submit my application.

  14. Portal 2 was great, but the more time I spend with Skyrim the more new and amazing things I do. My friends and I used to sit around at coffee shops and talk about MMO’s now we sit around and talk about the crazy things that happen in Skyrim.

    Maybe Portal 2 would have a chance if they had Dragons, crafting, perks, violent assassination contract kills, thievery, cooking, and Lydia. Especially Lydia.

  15. Skyrim is more awesome than Portal 2.

    An arrow to the knee is hillarious to everyone that have ever played skyrim – and thus much more funny than a lot of other memes.

    Dragons>Robots

    These are facts.
    If you disagree you are stupid.
    Let the trolls come.

  16. Oh, I’m also a werewolf archmage assassin (and bard in training).

    Don’t forget Dragonborn!

    I’m also an Elf. Coincidence?–Well, “I used to believe in coincidence, then I took an arrow to the knee!”

  17. I am a little disappointed in you, Veronica because you failed to also add that this lunar new year marks the year of the Dragon. At least that’s what Mr. Obvious tells me, duhh. Keep up the good work. Stay well, Happy New Year!

  18. Well i know comparition are not good, and more between two direferent game are lame, and yes each one are good or the game of 2011 in his style and way of playing. You dont expect to see a dragon on Portal o a portal on skyrim, or am rung?

    I did not play Ether of the two and one or the reason its that
    Playing video games makes me sick http://goo.gl/3XAif so i dont enjoy all of the games am more Sports and Strategy and fights like what the best game or the best computer or the best sleep over its just depend of the person. If you like it well juts right.

    Cuiroso post saludos.

  19. Although I am not a fan of required fields of any sort on forms like this, this article gained you at least ONE rss feeder (yeah verbs.) Success.

  20. i think skyrim is a much more better game becuase it has more action and adventure it will really make you pop up your gonna be like whats gonna happen next,even though portal 2 is exciting but its just giving you smart stuff i am not against that people need to get smart,but what im saying that is doesnt have and thrilling events, but my brother LOVES that game he thinks portal 2 is the best game he ever played!! but who agrees with me that skyrim is better

  21. Debating which one is better is nothing, but opinion. Skyrim is better though LOL. I think it really matters on the kind of gamer you are. I prefered the in depth immersion of skyrim as i did in Oblivion. Portal is fun and quirky, but it lacks the depth I require to fully enjoy.
    I loved the points you made, great review.

  22. I loved Portal 2 so much I played it for two days straight to finish my first playthrough.

    I loved Skyrim so much I’ve started three playthroughs since the game’s release which all remain unfinished because I keep getting attracted to different character builds and storylines that I’m happy to leave the main quest line in Riverwood for a while.

    Advantage: Skyrim

    Also, now that Valve created a Space Core mod for Skyrim, the debate doesn’t seem quite as relevant.

  23. How about we import the ASHPD into Skyrim,(via mod),and replace,(spoiler alert), Wheatley with Alduin. And also throw in a couple of shouts.

  24. I do enjoy this.It seems you are having a joke as you have clearly stated you enjoy Portal 2.
    However, they shouldn’t be compared as they’re different in almost every way. (This is to other people making comments) And honestly “Arrow IN the knee” is just as over-rated and dumb as “The Cake is a Lie”.
    Also as a side note, Bethesda (are believed to) not even come up with the joke as it came from a book “The Name of the Wind”.I’ve played both games and equally enjoy them as Skyrim is beautiful, intriguing, and, at times, boring (mods make up for that) and Portal 2 is funny, challenging, and surprising (Chapter 6: The Fall), yet easily finished (again made up for by the vast amount of test chambers on the workshop.
    K, thnx
    P.S Watch this if you REALLLLLY like Portal and Half-Life http://www.kotaku.com.au/2012/10/this-half-lifeportal-crossover-is-the-best-thing-youll-watch-today/

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