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Veronica
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Posts by Veronica
OMG, she said “vagina” on the Internet!
1As if one book club wasn’t enough, I’ve joined forces with some of my fantastically geeky girlfriends (Felicia Day, Kiala Kazebee, and Bonnie Burton) for a little project called the Vaginal Fantasy Hangout. This new monthly Google+ hangout session will focus on books from the fantasy, science fiction, paranormal romance, and mystery genres. There will also probably be a little sexy-time (as I like to call it) in the stories as well, which we will discuss to great lengths (and to our great amusement).
Our first episode is up, and we also have a Goodreads group and a Facebook page! Hope you’ll join us! Next episode will tape live on Feb 27th at 8pm PST over on Felicia’s G+ page.
Why Skyrim is better than Portal 2
301 month ago
by Veronica
in video games
LOOK AT THAT BADASS
Writer and gamer compatriot Kiala Kazebee recently wrote a post for the Nerdist blog, in which she lists the reasons why Portal 2 is superior to Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. With more than 70 hours of Skyrimming (that’s a thing, right?) under my belt, I present to you, dear reader, my rebuttal. FIGHT!
1. Yeah, I loved Portal 2. The first time I played it. When it was called PORTAL.
2. Oh, you like your little puzzles, do you? I like slaying dragons using massive fireballs and wielding blades imbued with ice and FEAR. Also, you think running around variations on the same room over and over is exciting, Kiala?? I think your brain was in stasis too long.
I am about to stab you in the head
3. If you’re bored walking through the (scenic and gloriously rendered) mountains, let me introduce you to a friend of mine: Skyrim Murder Bear. He’s been looking forward to meeting you.
4. Not funny? Have you seen the bucket head trick? There is tons of funny dialog and moments in the game, if you take the time to look for them. They’re much more rewarding than having Stephen Merchant lob one-liners into your face every 15 seconds.*
5. I have a husband. His name is Farkas, and he makes me hearty and delicious Homecooked Meals™ whenever I ask. Can your potato do that? Also, he’s manly and wears a hot suit of armor and we live together in the awesome house I purchased by being a total badass.
My wedding with Farkas. He's so sweet.
6. Sure, my Dark Elf may not be the prettiest princess on the block, but she has CHARACTER. I’ve seen Chell, ooooh… maybe twice? Plus, I can change my lady elf’s clothes and weapons at will. Just because I’m a gamer doesn’t mean I don’t like to play dress up once in a while. Enjoy your jumpsuit.
7. Skyrim has shouts. I can move at incredible speed, ground flying dragons, freeze or burn opponents, slow time itself, and more. FUS RO DAH!
8. Sure, the singing turrets in Portal 2 are adorable. But I’d much rather have a choir of hundreds of vikings singing an epic song in the language of the dragons.
9. Oh, I’m also a werewolf archmage assassin (and bard in training). So I’m either about to rip your throat out or sing you a sonnet about Mara, Goddess of Love and Stuff. But you won’t know until it’s too late!
10. The “I took an arrow to the knee” line is the meme of the year.
So these are just some of my reasons why Skyrim is a better game than Portal 2**, and why Kiala is wrong about everything (I’m guessing). Feel free to argue with me or lavish praise upon my argument in the comments.
*I will grant you that Space Sphere is the funniest character in a video game in the past 5 years, but even yelling SPAAAAAACE! can get old after a while.
**I actually loved Portal 2, but writing this post was too fun to pass up.
An Open Letter to Tom Colicchio
13Mr. Colicchio,
I will start off by saying that I’m a big fan of Top Chef. I find that your advice to the chefs, while often difficult to hear, is usually rooted in kindness and common sense. You obviously want to see them succeed and prosper in the tough world of (celebrity) cooking. You also seem to be quite knowledgable about food and its preparation.
Which is why this sandwich is so frustrating.
"This is what a sadwich looks like"
I’ve named it the “sadwich.” I purchased it today and attempted to eat it at your San Francisco ‘wichcraft location. It’s called the “Slow-Roasted Pork Sandwich,” and there is apparently a recipe for it here.
I wish (more than anything I’ve wished for lately) that your sandwich chefs had followed that recipe, because that doesn’t read like a bad sandwich.
But oooooh. That sandwich was very bad. Here are the reasons why:
1) It didn’t taste like anything. Except greasy.
Did you know that greasy can be a taste? I learned that today!
2) What I initially thought was misplaced melted cheese was actually globs of wet fat.
Pork has fat on it, and usually that fat is delicious! This fat reminded me of what gets hosed out of a liposuction patient’s thigh.
3) Jalapeño? More like jalapeNO!
There was one tiny slice of jalapeño on my sadwich, tucked into the corner of one of the halves. It had apparently drowned in the fatty, flavorless grease and was thus rendered impotent.
Mistakes happen. Sandwiches (and chefs) have bad days. My only mistake was returning to ‘wichcraft after the great Cold Meatloaf Sadwich Incident of 2010 (c’mon, cold meatloaf should still taste great if the meatloaf was initially delicious!).
Anyhow, I digress. I am not a chef, but I know a sadwich when I see one (though, I have worked at three sandwich shops over the years, so I feel passionately about the subject). I also know that it’s probably hard to oversee a vast network of restaurants like you do and maintain quality. But this should be rule #1 of celebrity cheffing, right? Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.
Update: My friend Scott Johnson has created this artist’s rendering of the Sadwich.
The Mobile Security Show Episode 3
2I’ve been hosting a series of mobile security panels for the AT&T Tech Channel alongside information security specialist Dino Dai Zovi. Above is the third episode, Dealing With Exploitable Mobile Device Vulnerabilities.
The rest are viewable over on the Mobile Security Show homepage!