I will start off by saying that I’m a big fan of Top Chef. I find that your advice to the chefs, while often difficult to hear, is usually rooted in kindness and common sense. You obviously want to see them succeed and prosper in the tough world of (celebrity) cooking. You also seem to be quite knowledgable about food and its preparation.

Which is why this sandwich is so frustrating.

"This is what a sadwich looks like"

I’ve named it the “sadwich.” I purchased it today and attempted to eat it at your San Francisco ‘wichcraft location. It’s called the “Slow-Roasted Pork Sandwich,” and there is apparently a recipe for it here.

I wish (more than anything I’ve wished for lately) that your sandwich chefs had followed that recipe, because that doesn’t read like a bad sandwich.

But oooooh. That sandwich was very bad. Here are the reasons why:

1) It didn’t taste like anything. Except greasy.
Did you know that greasy can be a taste? I learned that today!

2) What I initially thought was misplaced melted cheese was actually globs of wet fat.
Pork has fat on it, and usually that fat is delicious! This fat reminded me of what gets hosed out of a liposuction patient’s thigh.

3) Jalapeño? More like jalapeNO!
There was one tiny slice of jalapeño on my sadwich, tucked into the corner of one of the halves. It had apparently drowned in the fatty, flavorless grease and was thus rendered impotent.

Mistakes happen. Sandwiches (and chefs) have bad days. My only mistake was returning to ‘wichcraft after the great Cold Meatloaf Sadwich Incident of 2010 (c’mon, cold meatloaf should still taste great if the meatloaf was initially delicious!).

Anyhow, I digress. I am not a chef, but I know a sadwich when I see one (though, I have worked at three sandwich shops over the years, so I feel passionately about the subject). I also know that it’s probably hard to oversee a vast network of restaurants like you do and maintain quality. But this should be rule #1 of celebrity cheffing, right? Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.

Update: My friend Scott Johnson has created this artist’s rendering of the Sadwich.

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I decided to take to the Twitternets to help me make this very important choice. Here are the current suggestions:

Blair’s Sauces and Snacks
Tears of Joy Tropical Tears
Rufus Teague
Ghost Pepper Salsa
Aztexan
El Fenix
Ass Reaper Hot Sauce With Skull Cap and Cape
Mrs. Renfros (I’ve had a few of their salsas before, not bad at all!)
Dave’s Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce Hottest Sauce in the Universe
Crazy Mother Puckers
Scorned Woman Hot Sauce
Holy Jolokia Hot Sauce
911 Special
Peppermaster’s Hurricane Mash
Possible Side Effects

And to top it all off, the infamous Billy Mitchell brand of sauces, Rickey’s World Famous Hot Sauces!

Do you have any favorites not listed here? Let me know in the comments!

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If The Venture Brothers and Aqua Teen Hunger Force came together and had a little lovechild with No Reservations, I have a feeling it would look like the newest project from Anthony Bourdain and The Travel Channel. The aptly-named Anthony Bourdain’s Alternate Universe is a completely animated series that delves deep into the twisted mind of the celebrity chef (and it looks like there will be more than a few Rachel Ray jokes).

Anthony is one of my idols, not only because of his on-air persona, but because it’s so obvious that he loves what he does (even when he’s frustrated during a shoot, which I find especially hilarious and relatable). In the spirit of Tony, I’ll say that I’m looking forward to his new project almost as much as he looks forward to a new, exotic pork dish.

Via Eater National

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Daniel Delaney from VendrTV was kind enough to invite me on the show, and I was thrilled to be able to try Spencer On The Go, a French food truck that patrols the SoMa district of San Francisco.

Now, I’ve become somewhat more adventurous in my eating habits in the past few years, but I’ve never tried escargot before. It did not go well. However, everything else we sampled was delicious, albeit guilt-inducing.

VendrTV is great, and they’ve found a nice niche by focusing on the very-trendy food carts and trucks that are showing up in major cities all over the country. Also check out his episodes with Gary Vaynerchuk and Dave Morin, who visited my favorite coffee spot in San Francisco, Blue Bottle!

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Since running Engadget has been deemed more important than my Warcraft addiction, I’ve had to do other things with my time. Here is a list of some of those things:

1. Watching “Sex and the City.” Possibly up to five times a day (Thank you, TiVO!)
2. Watching the entire first season of “Lost” until the wee hours of the morning.
3. Going to dot com events.
4. Trying new delicious restaurants with my girlfriends.
5. Torturing the cat.
6. Reading the Mallorean, Vol. 1 (I think I’m on Book 6 of like… 800).
7. Sleep.

So, if you haven’t seen me on Bonechewer in a while, that’s why. *sigh*

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With Ryan in town on Friday (post CTIA), it means I get to go out to eat. Luckily, I was tipped off by Josh at HandleYourBusiness.com to SFGate’s Top 100 Restaurants. Once I honed in on the San Francisco choices (it covers the whole Bay Area), I’m left with 61 top eateries to choose from. I can then sort by noise level, rating, price, and what kind of food they specialize in. Considering my fridge is completely empty*, having a nice meal is going to be a welcome change. I don’t know where I’ve been eating, but I haven’t been to one place on this list!

*except for hot sauces

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Some chillis are fierce enough to make your eyes water. Anyone foolhardy enough to eat a whole Dorset Naga would almost certainly require hospital treatment.

I like spicy food. I like spicy food so much that I suffer from severe heartburn and stomach issues. Therefore, I obviously need to try this pepper at some point in my life. Ryan sent me this link to an article about the Dorset Naga chili, also known as the hottest pepper in the world. In fact, it?s TWICE as hot as the once reigning champion, the Red Savina. Yum!

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American researchers have cloned pigs that can produce their own omega-3 fatty acids, which would make bacon and pork good for your heart. Omega-3 fatty acids are those compounds found in fish like tuna that reduce the incidence of heart disease.

Isn’t that great!?

p.s. Yes, I pumped up the saturation on the photo below. But it still wasn’t a camera phone! I thought the sky looked kind of “apocalypse-like” apocalyptic.

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